It feels so good to spill the beans!

 This was a big weekend for our family.  We let everyone know that we are expecting another baby!  We took Nancy (Jamie's Mom) out to dinner at Hodak's Saturday night and then to the Botanical Garden to see the Chinese Lantern Exhibit.  Jamie told her she had another birthday to attend in January but we didn't know exactly when it would be and then handed her a card that said we were expecting a baby.  She held the card and laughed and teared and said "if this is what I think it is, I predicted it."  She had a feeling we were taking her to dinner to tell her we were pregnant.  She was excited and it felt so good to tell her.  Oddly enough when we sat down to dinner we sat next to a couple that mentioned to us that they were expecting their first grandchild in a month.  Later, Nancy told them that she is expecting her new grandchild in January.  The Chinese Lantern Festival was beautiful and there was a nice breeze that made the eighty-something degree weather bearable.  Maddie was so well behaved and in such a happy mood that night.  She was up until 10 o'clock!

Sunday morning we took my Parents to breakfast for Father's Day and had Maddie wear her shirt to breakfast.  It *only* took my Mom 45 minutes to ask what was on Maddie's shirt.  This was after sitting at a table with her for half an hour and taking Maddie out walking for fifteen minutes.

We planned on telling Jamie's Dad and his older Sister's family that we were pregnant on Father's Day at our home.  Jamie, being the good Grandson that he is wanted to include his Grandmother in the weekend even though she was in Florida.  Maddie and I headed to the park Friday to see the horses and enjoy a little picnic and take some pictures in her big sister shirt.  I edited them to put words on them and emailed them to Jamie who emailed them to the Receptionist at the Marbelle Club (Shirley's condo) and the Receptionist sent the pictures to Shirley's neighbor with instructions to give them to Shirley no earlier than 6:00 Eastern Time.

Fast Forward...

Julie, Jamie's Sister, gets a call around 4:00 our time ( 5:00 Eastern) from Shirley.  Shirley says "I got the news"  Julie, was trying to act like she didn't know and said "What news?"  Shirley knew.  She got the pictures early and long story short, she called everyone she could get a hold of including Jamie's Dad, older sister and younger sister and God only knows who else in the family!

Surprise ruined.  Typical.  Oh well.  It's all a part of the story now.

Here are the pictures...

The dinner was a good time. We decided to make a mini-hamburger bar with all of the fixings and an ice cream bar for dessert.   Maddie is really looking up to her older Cousin, Lilly.  It was cute to see her following her around the house.   It was great to see everyone and celebrate the Father's and the new baby.


Jamie and I shared the news on Facebook Monday.  I told my co-workers on Monday as well.  Now, everyone knows and boy does it feel good.  

10 Weeks!

How far along? 10 weeks

Baby Size: About 1.5 inches.  The size of a prune!

Total weight gain: Down 6 pounds

Maternity clothes? Yes and no. 

Stretch marks? Not yet.

Sleep: Last night was my first bad night of sleep where I woke up at 4:00 and had a difficult time getting back to sleep.  I guess I finally did just before the alarm went off.

Best moment this week: The best moment this week has been spilling the news that I am pregnant a second time with co-workers and friends.  I am really looking forward to telling our families on Father's Day.

Miss Anything? Nothing

Movement: Not yet.  I was thinking last night about how I can't wait for the baby to start moving.  That is such a special moment.

Food cravings: Carbs and Chocolate!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Barbecue and grilled meats!

Gender: Not sure but I would be delighted with either!

Labor Signs: Nah!

Symptoms: Tired tired tired!  I take a nap a day usually on week days and sometimes two naps a day on weekends.  My back is still hurting from the accident.  Sleeping on my side has been more difficult this pregnancy than last.

Mood: Happy, but some sad moments.  It's a strange feeling to have everything you have ever wanted and to be sad.  I have a lot of family drama happening right now and it's difficult looking ahead 7 months and knowing your support system is weak.  At least I have Jamie and Maddie and some members of J's family.  They provide a "normal" feeling when it comes to family.

Looking forward to: I am looking forward to soooo much!  From feeling the baby move to finding out the sex to playing music through headphones on my belly once the baby can hear to decorating the nursery and finally meeting this new precious baby!

Ultrasound - 7 weeks 5 days

5/30/12


Dehhhhh nuh nuh nuh nuhhhhhhhh nuhhhhhhhh,
Dehhhhh nuh nuh nuh nuhhhhhhhh nuhhh......

That's my graduation song!  I graduated to my regular OB!   YAY!!!!!  I finally feel like I can accept this pregnancy!  Same as last pregnancy, I will take this opportunity to put up my ticker and start my weekly updates.  I am so excited and so grateful for this second baby.

The heartbeat was 162 bpm!  Up from the original 95 bpm at 6 weeks and the 125 bpm in the Emergency Room after the accident.   I forgot how beautiful of a sound that fast beating heart is.    This is my second pregnancy but I am still just as in awe of the fact that my body made that heart.  My body made that heart beat.  I won't be taking any of this pregnancy for granted.  I will still mark every milestone with excitement and wonder and I will still write about everything I experience.  I am even more exited to deliver this time since I know what an amazing experience it was the first time around.  I wondered if I would ever get the chance to do this again.

Jamie and I went to Memphis for a wedding this past weekend.  We went up a few days early and spent a couple of days together, just the two of us.  It was so nice.  I had wanted to visit Memphis for years.  I would often ask Jamie if we could go on a road trip to Memphis to enjoy some of the Barbecue restaurants we see often on The Food Network and The Travel Channel.  We finally made it...and barbecue makes me nauseous.  Like, it was all I could do to sit in the restaurant with Jamie while he ate.  I had a Greek salad at the first barbecue restaurant, ordered a house salad at the second (the next night) and was so sick I couldn't eat it and when Jamie picked up barbecue at the third restaurant I stayed in the car.  I finally made it to Memphis and couldn't eat barbecue.  I experienced the same exact thing when I was pregnant with Maddie, I couldn't stand meat or anything smoked or grilled.  Of course, we now think we are having a second girl because of my identical symptoms.

I would love a boy or a girl by the way.  Two girls would be so fun and a boy would be a fun change of pace.  I still maintain that he is destined to make little girls and to be surrounded by girls as he is great with his niece, sisters and his many gal pals.

I downloaded a baby name app.  Jamie and I could only agree on ONE name out of thousands for the last baby.  I figure I may as well get started early this go around.  I marked a few names as possibilities and Jamie nixed everyone of them on our drive home from Memphis.  This is going to be painful!!!  We did decide on a temporary name for the new baby.  Ducky.  Yep.  Ducky.  We spent our weekend at The Peabody Hotel where ducks swim in the fountain of the lobby.  We missed Maddie terribly when we saw the ducks and we sent her pictures and videos.  I told Jamie we needed a nick name and he said "I think we should name it Ducky.  We were just at the Peabody, Maddie loves ducks  It should be Ducky."  I said "awe, I like that" and that's how Ducky came to be.

Hit and Run

5/22/12

I was on my way to work yesterday morning when my car was hit by a car going around 35 mph.  He hit my passenger side bumper as I turned onto a one way street, he then fish tailed into the side of my car and pushed me onto a curb and into a concrete trash can. I didn't see him coming.  I knew I was in an accident only when I heard the loud crash and realized I had no control over my vehicle and was being pushed onto a curb.  I remember watching the concrete trash can approach quickly and scanning for poles.

The driver sped off.

A nice gentleman who heard the accident while in a parking lot called the police while I signaled another gentleman that was behind me in a car to follow the driver that sped off.  The driver of the hit and run vehicle went the wrong way down a one way street and escaped the guy following him.  That guy returned.

I was shaken.  I was cramping everywhere that my seat belt was restraining me including my abdomen where my precious baby was.  Sharp pains were shooting from side to side and from the center of my belly.  This is when I started sobbing.  My phone hit the windshield and was dead.  I felt so alone as I tried to get my car charger to let me operate my phone somehow, someway.  The fire department came and then the paramedics.  The police finally showed up and didn't want to take a report since there was only one car.  The paramedics challenged him and he finally and reluctantly did.  The police officer was mean to me, telling me he couldn't hear me and to speak up.  I was just happy to be making sentences since I was so frazzled.  He didn't speak to either witness and left before I did.

I borrowed the phone of one of the guys and called my husband who came down and took care of towing my car.  I thanked to the two gentleman that stayed to make sure I was okay and walked to the Ambulance.  I was admitted to the Trauma part of a nearby hospital where my RE is located because the ER was full.  This was my first and hopefully last time in Trauma.  I was in that room for a total of three hours and had one stomach ultrasound which was pointless because it showed nothing but a gestational sack. My husband arrived at the hospital during this ultrasound.  After the ultrasound  I asked if I could have a cracker around 10:00 since I hadn't had breakfast and was feeling nausea from pregnancy and was told I could have medicine to make the nausea go away.  I tried explaining that a cracker would do it but I got medicine in my IV.  Then I sat for an hour while I had to pee.  I had to pee for an hour and finally had my husband hit the call button.  The nurse answered and I told her.  No one ever came to let me pee.  So, finally, at the hour and a half point...I got up grabbed a urine jug out of a cabinet and pee'd standing in the corner of the Trauma room with my husband standing guard over the curtain and laughing at me.

I hopped back in bed and laid for another half hour and then a patient was wheeled into the room with me.  She was elderly and had liver failure and kidney failure.  She was swollen and unresponsive with tubes coming and going from every orifice.  I laid idly by just 5 feet away while she had x-rays, heart scans, etc.  I saw just her swollen toes at one point and they reminded me of Maddie's.  My sweet sixteen month old's toes so fresh and new looked like they had aged 85 years and I cried.  It hit me, I was in the Trauma ward with people that were over dosing and dying of complications with my 7 week old fetus in my belly.  New life and old life in the same room.  A life coming and a life going.  I prayed that God would take this lady as I listened to her grunt in pain and heard the nurses talk about how she only had a Granddaughter listed as next of kin.

I looked at my husband and bawled.  We were both beside ourselves.  We were in the wrong place.  An hour after Sandra checked in next to me we were moved into the hallway.  We waited there for a private ER room where an ultrasound could be performed trans vaginally.  We were surrounded by crackheads.  One vomited lying on a gurney while being wheeled down the hall.  Jamie moved away from her as she choked and gagged into a bucket staring right at me.  It was the worst feeling.  I wanted to be discharged before I even got to my ultrasound.  Jamie actually asked a nurse if we could be.  They realized we had waited a long time and got us into a room where I got an ultrasound and there was the beautiful heartbeat at 120 bpm, 25 b's pm faster than it was last Thursday.  Jamie and I both breathed audible sighs of relief.  We were so happy but will never go back to that hospital.

We went for lunch at 2:00 where I ate enough for breakfast and dinner.  We then went to get my rental car and then home for a nap.  Jamie woke me up at 4:30 to tell me he got news that my car was totaled.  We're looking for a new car now, unfortunately, because I loved my car and we had just paid off both cars.

Anyway, I am healthy and so is baby and I couldn't be happier despite losing a car.

First Ultrasound - 6 weeks

5/18/12

Well, I will start this post like I have started the last few....I was so nervous for this ultrasound.  I guess I just still don't believe this body made a baby the way babies were intended to be made.  Jamie met me at the RE's office and I sat in that familiar ultrasound chair where I had sat to watch my follicles grow two years ago and the chair I sat in when I first saw Madelyn for the first time.  She looked just like the picture below. It's the chair I learned I would be a Mommy for the first time.  It's the chair Jamie stood next to when he learned he would be a Daddy.  We held hands just like we did the first time.  Once the baby was found it was a sweet relief and guess what...there was a heart beat!  It was beating at 95 beats per minute which they did say was slow and worries me.  But they also said that hearts tend to beat slower the smaller the baby is. So I will trust that all is okay with the heart.

There were some questions about whether I had been experiencing cramping or bleeding.  I didn't think much of it until the Ultrasound Tech said there was a sack of blood.  Can you see that area to the top right of the gestational sack?  There is the black area, a ring around the black area and then at the top right of that out ring, there is a blob about 1/3 the size of the sack.  That is a pocket of blood.  I had this when I was pregnant with Madelyn.  It is due to RH factor and last time I had to receive an injection early in my pregnancy to help the baby.  I had an injection this time too.

We met with the Doctor next.  She ordered the rogam shot and a urine test because I had a bladder infection last visit and she wanted to make sure it was cleared up.  I don't know why but I just a vibe that she had concerns even though she wasn't necessarily saying it.  I asked if she had concerns and she said she was cautiously optimistic.  My husband had just muttered the same words before the Doctor came in.  I hate those words, I have to tell you.  I have this sinking feeling ever since the ultrasound.  I am scared that the blood sack will present problems this time where it didn't last time.  It looks identical to the one with Madelyn so I should be more worried, I guess I am just waiting for something to go wrong.  It's going to smooth, it's going too easy-it's been too normal.  When will my world crumble?  I hate speaking that way but that's what is in my gut.

We have another ultrasound in two weeks to check progress.  I will be just as scared for that one as I was for this one.  The enjoyment at ultrasounds didn't start last time until our twelfth week ultrasound with our regular OB, I'm so ready for that.

We are headed to Memphis for a wedding on Memorial Day weekend.  I'm looking forward to getting away!

Beta #2 - 20 dpo

5/12/12

I was just as nervous this time around for my beta results as I was last time.  The call came early which was a nice surprise.  Usually, the closer it gets to 1:00 (when they say they will call) the more nervous I get.  So, 11:30 was a welcomed treat.  I was taking furniture inventory at my work.  The one day I decide to wear heals is the one day I have to walk 40,000 square feet.  My feet were swollen and I have blisters, still.

Anyway, the nurse, Amy, called and said she had good news.  She said my beta was wonderful.  It was 2326. Then she congratulated me and told me the Doctor's administrative assistant would be calling to schedule my first ultrasound.

A couple of hours later I received the call from Sandy who congratulated me and gave me appointment options.  Our ultrasound is Thursday at 2:00 and our appointment with the Doctor is at 2:15.  We should be able to see a sack and a fetal pole if all goes well.  I will be just as nervous then as I was for the betas.

If we make it past the first ultrasound we can schedule our next ultrasound to see a heartbeat at 7 weeks, I believe.  This would be an amazing and well timed treat as we leave the following morning for a wedding in Memphis and will have plenty of time to celebrate.  I don't want to think of the alternative so I am not.

Mother's day is in a couple of days and this is my second one.  Mother's Day means more to me than Christmas.  It's my favorite holiday of the year.  I am going shopping tomorrow to find a charm to represent this past year with Madelyn.  I started the tradition last year of getting her a charm for every Mother's Day because I celebrate her on that special day for making me a Mother.  Without her I wouldn't be a Mother.  Maddie and I spent a very special day together today.  She is getting to be so much fun now that she walks! We woke up, had breakfast and went to a nearby park that has horses.  It's very cool and has amazing landscaped grounds.  I always stop at the bench below to take a picture.  She is looking up at the trees.  She knows what trees are now and loves to look and point and say "tree" or her version of "tree" anyway.  I took some pictures, and took her to see the horses which she absolutely LOVED.  I have many pictures of her pointing.  We stopped at Target afterwards for no reason at all really.  Came home for a nap and then walked to B&N bookstore where we purchase.  I suppose I am having some odd cravings as we had Guacamole, Chips and Pizza for dinner.  My husband asked twice what we were having over the phone.  To his credit, he ate it!

I haven't felt sick so far at all.  Nothing.  It seems too good to be true.  My appetite is ummm...healthy, shall we say?  I am constantly eating to satisfy cravings but nothing tastes as good as I hope it will so I move on to something else.  I have also had a high burst of energy.  I am typing this at 3:30 AM.  I haven't been able to sleep and have been nesting, yes, nesting at 5 weeks post ovulation.  WTF?  I don't get it.  No sleep and endless energy.

Beta #1 - 14dpo

5/6/12

I was so nervous waiting for my first beta result.  Thankfully it was office clean-up day at work so I was able to keep busy until 12:30 when the nurse called.  My beta was 126 which she said is very good.  The doctor likes to see anything over 100.  I had been concerned when she said the number.  My beta at 14 dpo after ivf was 291.  I was expecting something around that number so when I heard 126 my eyes welled up in fear.

I hung up and called my husband with the news and we both breathed a sigh of relief.   We are both afraid to be happy about this but I remember telling him last time..."we need to celebrate each little milestone even though we are scared.  If we don't, we may look back and realize we have missed out on a large portion of time we should have been happy."   So, that's what we are doing.  We are celebrating the 126 and anxiously waiting for Wednesday when I will have my next beta.  

We did get Maddie a "Big Sister" shirt this weekend because we found it for under $5 at the G.A.P.  If all were to go well we would have family over for Jamie's birthday June 19ish and have Maddie dressed in her shirt to share the news with everyone.  

A lot more to tackle before June 19th though.  One day at a time, one test at a time, one ultrasound at a time.  

Thank you all for your sweet comments.  They helped me so much while waiting for the call on Thursday.