First Ultrasound - 6 weeks

5/18/12

Well, I will start this post like I have started the last few....I was so nervous for this ultrasound.  I guess I just still don't believe this body made a baby the way babies were intended to be made.  Jamie met me at the RE's office and I sat in that familiar ultrasound chair where I had sat to watch my follicles grow two years ago and the chair I sat in when I first saw Madelyn for the first time.  She looked just like the picture below. It's the chair I learned I would be a Mommy for the first time.  It's the chair Jamie stood next to when he learned he would be a Daddy.  We held hands just like we did the first time.  Once the baby was found it was a sweet relief and guess what...there was a heart beat!  It was beating at 95 beats per minute which they did say was slow and worries me.  But they also said that hearts tend to beat slower the smaller the baby is. So I will trust that all is okay with the heart.

There were some questions about whether I had been experiencing cramping or bleeding.  I didn't think much of it until the Ultrasound Tech said there was a sack of blood.  Can you see that area to the top right of the gestational sack?  There is the black area, a ring around the black area and then at the top right of that out ring, there is a blob about 1/3 the size of the sack.  That is a pocket of blood.  I had this when I was pregnant with Madelyn.  It is due to RH factor and last time I had to receive an injection early in my pregnancy to help the baby.  I had an injection this time too.

We met with the Doctor next.  She ordered the rogam shot and a urine test because I had a bladder infection last visit and she wanted to make sure it was cleared up.  I don't know why but I just a vibe that she had concerns even though she wasn't necessarily saying it.  I asked if she had concerns and she said she was cautiously optimistic.  My husband had just muttered the same words before the Doctor came in.  I hate those words, I have to tell you.  I have this sinking feeling ever since the ultrasound.  I am scared that the blood sack will present problems this time where it didn't last time.  It looks identical to the one with Madelyn so I should be more worried, I guess I am just waiting for something to go wrong.  It's going to smooth, it's going too easy-it's been too normal.  When will my world crumble?  I hate speaking that way but that's what is in my gut.

We have another ultrasound in two weeks to check progress.  I will be just as scared for that one as I was for this one.  The enjoyment at ultrasounds didn't start last time until our twelfth week ultrasound with our regular OB, I'm so ready for that.

We are headed to Memphis for a wedding on Memorial Day weekend.  I'm looking forward to getting away!